Skull Rings For Ladies – When Robin (not her real name) was a girl, she had been swept up by the sweeping romance of her favorite fairy tales.
Not because her boyfriend was the wrong man – far from it – she was hoping he’d suggest for some time.
No, the problem wasn’t the proposal.
This was the ring.
While the ring was lovely, it simply didn’t match her style.
She tried to talk herself into loving it; after all it was selected, probably after much careful deliberation, by the man she wished to devote her entire life with. Surely the simple fact that he had put effort into choosing it for her should have been sufficient to make her heart beat faster when she looked in it. Try as she would, however, she simply couldn’t eliminate the inner wince every time somebody remarked upon it, and she held back her true feelings.
When many couples reach a stage in their relationships when they admit that prospective ring purchases are probably and go shopping together, removing any doubt as to which engagement and wedding rings are preferred, some women, such as Robin, prefer to be surprised. The romantic notion of the unexpected suggestion appeals to them, and there is no reason it should not. Together with the surprise suggestion, however, comes the chance that the groom in question will fail to comprehend that the stylistic differences between the ring he’s chosen and the overall aesthetic preferences of his sweetheart.
If the engagement ring on your finger allows you to cringe each time you look at it, you can’t just stew about it. Starting a marriage on a foundation of disappointment and resentment is a recipe for failure. Here are a couple tips for handling the situation diplomatically, obtaining the ring you genuinely want, and beginning your marriage on the right foot.
1. DON’T inform him during the suggestion.
Remember, he’s been planning this suggestion for a while, probably with a sensible amount of stress, and he clearly thinks you are likely to love the ring he’s picked out to you. The last thing you want to do is ruin the disposition and crush his confidence by telling him that the ring’s all wrong. Take at least a few days to celebrate your engagement and reassure them that you are 100 percent over the moon about planning to devote your life with him.
2. DO figure out why the ring isn’t the right fit for you.
Just blurting out that you despise your engagement ring or telling him that it’s not the ring you desired is an excellent method to hurt his feelings and possibly begin a fight. Rather, consider what you do and do not like about the ring. Maybe the setting is beautiful, but increased gold doesn’t complement your skin colour. Or perhaps the arrangement of the stones makes the ring impractical to wear on a daily basis. The more specific you can be about what is wrong with all the ring, the more easily you can find out what minor alterations can be forced to turn it into a ring you’ll love.
3. DON’T inform him you want to have an entirely new ring.
When possible, the objective must be to make a compromise using the original ring for a foundation; replacing it with an whole brand new ring will feel like a considerably greater rejection to your beloved. Additionally, he’s probably already spent a good chunk of his budget on the ring he selected; you do not wish to put him in a more awkward place, emotionally or financially, than necessary.
4. DO begin the conversation with all the elements you love.
If you broach the topic, begin with everything you love about the ring and just how much you really appreciate the thought he put into choosing it to you. Whether there are elements you understand he selected as you have worn matters like them before, give him credit for noticing. Bring up the alterations you’d like to make less approaches to fix a mistake, but as ways to boost something which’s already good.
5. DON’T react defensively when his feelings are hurt.
While it’s understandable that you would rather wear an engagement ring which matches your style, finally it’s not the ring you are marrying. Should you gently suggest minor alterations for your ring, and he reacts with surprise and hurt feelings, do not bring up the fact that you believed he understood you well enough to select something you would like and ask why he didn’t at least consult your very best friend or your sister before making his buy. Instead ask him what elements of the ring he likes and how he picked it out. Attempt to observe the ring through his eyes. Maybe he picked it to get a deeply personal reason that just has not occurred to you.
If you have been presented an engagement ring which doesn’t fit you, the most important thing to keep in mind is that your fiancé picked that specific style, design, stone, placing and band for a reason. He picked that ring since he believed you’d love it, therefore it’s likely to come as a surprise for him that he missed some thing. Be as open to listening as you’re to talking, and seek compromise.